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Tag: nature
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June – the end
Once my favorite month – June – maybe because of my birthday. You know, recently I was counting to make sure I really am as old as I am – and yes, that’s correct. I don’t want it to be any different. A bit of a pity. A pity, but probably only because of my energy levels. Yesterday at training, my whole body hurt as if it was screaming: “Re laaaxxxxx…!” For a moment, I thought about getting off the saddle, but in the end, we did yielding in walk – considering the movements with Plushie, we invented a gait before the walk :)) – it was exceptionally hard. Trotting was better. Training done, always “a little” progress.
By the way – I’ve been wondering since yesterday what it really means to do something “in tribute” – what does it really mean, beyond the obvious definition you’d find on Wikipedia:
“Homage (Latin: homagium) – a ceremony of solemn feudal contract. During it, homage was paid: the vassal would kneel before their lord and solemnly swear loyalty, promising to assist the lord in counsel (consilium) and to offer military aid (auxilium). Then came investiture, the formal granting of the fief to the vassal.”In common understanding, paying tribute means nothing less or more than an expression of respect, recognition, devotion, and honor. Well.
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June 2024
Mornings at the “ranch” are amazing. I absolutely love my morning garden check. Mine is completely chaotic – just like the old me. What I enjoy most is sitting with a cup of coffee, barefoot in the grass, watching my herd (two dogs and three cats). They have daily rituals, and I love observing them. It’s heartwarming that they like being close to me. Although I’m not sure if they like it or just simply are.
Alright, I’m off to the stable – I need to shake off the bad energy sent by the “Lady With No Class.” Well, I wish her all the best. That’s just how I am ;) -
may 6, 2024
Sometimes I wonder how it happens – and this affects me every year – that I always miss the phase from the moment delicate leaves first appear on the trees until they majestically sway in the wind. I think I experience something similar with people. It turns out that I often miss the human phase: from warmth to parasitic, like mistletoe, sucking – in my case – energy. People are pleasant, but how genuine are they really?!…
You know what, some time ago – speaking of “revealed truth” – I had the pleasure to participate in an emotionally exhausting yet incredibly vivid meeting that prompted me to take actions, majestically ;) just as I am doing now. I mean the meeting with the wonderful Karolina and the awe-inspiring, huge (literally!) Raban from Horse Spirit.
I wanted to get to know myself better, to understand the various fears I saw, and to discover what keeps me constantly and unchangingly in one place, despite believing that I can do more, be more attentive. That I can change. It was supposed to be a starting point to shed the beliefs I had carried for years, which I finally discovered—like Columbus perhaps discovering “his” America. I wonder whose surprise was greater.
Although I live through imagination and tried to prepare for this meeting by reading about it, I had no idea how deeply those nearly three hours spent with the “hosts” would affect me. I don’t recall ever having such a perfect teacher before… myself.
A beautiful “toned boy,” consistently taking his nightly pills to cope with life—me. In an indescribable way, surprisingly responsive to my slightest inner tremors. At every doubt in my mind, the tightness in my stomach, at the decision: “keep going?”—he would pause, trying to pinch me, as if asking:
“So, what, do you want to keep going? Because I don’t feel like you do.”
“Incredibly close, as if connected to my body and mind — outstanding.”
You know what touched me the most? I think I saw strength in him. An attempt to take care of me. Something like a sense of security — the kind of “hysterics” I’ve needed most for a long time. The strength of Raban, his confidence, assertiveness — made me realize that I too can be like that. Not necessarily relying on my usual pattern of the “strong woman,” who has long been dragging everything alone on her aching lower back.
Good, right?! It’s fantastic how perfectly one can be in symbiosis with horses. They respond to every tension, every hesitation — which I relentlessly try to understand from the saddle, wanting to communicate with “Her Highness” ;)