Good morning, still very July-like,

I had a “crash” two days ago. I’ll quietly admit — I forgot about my pharmacy visit for two days. Really, I just forgot. My trip to get my meds was a cruel journey — not to mention the mental torment, torn by guilt, but also the physical aspect of dealing with the lack of chemistry in my head. Ringing in my ears, dizziness. Of course, I can only write about myself and my experiences — and while I think I have some control over the Demons, my body, having been in survival mode for so long, is now throwing various things at me. There are days — one or two a week — when I have absolutely no strength for anything. Physically. I can’t get off the couch. I do the necessary, essential tasks but totally without energy. Once, this was terrifying to me — how can I waste the day so stupidly when there’s so much to do at home, in the garden, etc.? Today, I surrender to it.
I’m learning to listen to the body that wraps the divine mind, on which so much depends. It can make you your best friend or your worst enemy. One that’s obsessed, crushing itself. Exceptionally self-destructive. Okay, enough — despite everything, the learning process is (in my opinion) the most beautiful life process. Getting to know yourself is important, but the attempt to face your own fears, limitations, and finally change the beliefs that restrict your growth — that’s one hell of a ride!